


Fragile-Handle with care.

by Laurana117



Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Arranged Marriage, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-06-17
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:18:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurana117/pseuds/Laurana117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is the god of chaos. He ruins almost everything he touches, he causes his fathers and brothers the most epic headaches and he and his magic are generally regarded with annoyance or hate.<br/>So when he is told that he is to marry Thor, the Prince of Asgard as part of a vital alliance he is less than thrilled. How long before Loki ruins this too, and loses his head and/or the Casket?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I just found out that I'm going to marry you!

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to have short chapters like this. And this story won't be too long.

Loki was fairly nervous on his wedding day. He’d only been to Asgard once before, and that had been him sneaking in during the dead of night to steal away some of Frigga’s famed blossoms for one of his spells that failed.

He hadn’t taken time to admire the architecture of the Aesir. It was all quite gold and beautiful, and he wondered how Bor had done it all. Hadn’t it taken ages to assemble?

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat. Loki looked up from his musings and remembered that he was supposed to be walking down the aisle to join his future husband, Odin and a witch. The witch was there to make sure Loki didn’t commit any shenanigans. Apparently his reputation had preceded him.

Loki continued to walk forward. The Aesir had outfitted him in flowing white fabric. It was in the traditional Jotunn style, and Loki was thankful. He had only been alerted about the state of his marital future a few weeks ago and he wasn’t prepared to assimilate.

The heat here though. It was excruciating. Loki didn’t blame Laufey and the others for wanting to get this ceremony and negotiations over with fast. They most likely wanted to high tail out of this sauna of a realm and get back to Jotunheim.

Panting in the harsh light of the realm, Loki had half a mind to join them alliance be damned.

Loki was decked out in so much jewelry he was having troubles not staring at it. Only a small portion of it was from Jotunheim. The whole of it was gifted to him by his husband to be, or was part of the Asgardian royal collection. The jewels of the Queen.

Loki made it and he stood next to Thor. The Giant slayer, the crown prince of Asgard, the God of Thunder, and Loki’s husband to be.

Thor was a massive man. He stood several inches taller than Loki and much much wider. And his arm muscles were nothing to scoff at. Loki had never seen him before. His blue eyes were giving Loki the same scrutiny.

Odin took both their hands and proclaimed them wed. It was quite anti-climactic.

Thor took a gold ring and slid it around Loki’s left ring finger. Somehow it fit perfectly. And once it was on Loki’s finger he felt at ease. The air grew colder and he could breathe better.

“The ring has been given some of the power of the Casket of Ancient Winters. It should help you feel at home here.” Thor said quietly. “And it is your wedding ring.”

“I don’t have one for you.” Loki said as he looked up from the golden band.

Thor held his hand up. There was already a ring. “I already have one.” He said with a smile.

He then took hold of Loki’s hand. “Come, the feast awaits.”

Loki followed him.

Thor held onto Loki’s hand and led him to the feasting hall. Loki got to sit at the table of more important people with Thor. Loki liked it. From this spot he could see everyone in the hall. And everyone could see him.

He thought momentarily of what the Frost Giants who had mocked him in his youth would say.

Loki took to sampling various pieces of Asgardian cuisine while Thor stuffed himself full of boar next to him. Loki couldn’t help smiling at the sight. Partly because Thor looked so ridiculous eating so much, and partly because there was so much food in this realm. He might never miss a meal again if this realm had so much to give.

A woman sat across from them. She had long golden hair. She must be Sif. Loki had heard of her.

“Hello.” Loki said in his most charming voice. “It’s nice of you to join us on our wedding feast. I know how jealous you must be, even on Jotunheim everyone knows that you wanted to marry Thor. And that you wanted the crown. But I promise to treat them both well.” Loki actually meant to sound sincere.

On Jotunheim if two lovers never officially mate, but instead grow apart and fall out of love then it is usually customary for the newest suitor to address their new love’s old flame. Mostly to reassure their intent. And only a little to show off.

Loki only meant to tell Sif that he would care for Thor now, for as long as he could. And as long as Thor wanted him. After all, Jotunheim needed Loki to not ruin this for them. They were finally getting the Casket back.

Sif apparently did not accept what Loki said. Instead she growled at him and pointed a fork in quite a threatening way, “How _dare_ you say such lies? You filthy Frost Giant. You know _nothing_ about me.” She said. “Thor, I know this is an important marriage, but can you not teach him to have some sense?” She turned her angry glare onto Thor.

Thor looked up from his boar. And then his eyes turned to Loki. Instead of reprimanding Loki, he simply laughed and draped an arm with sticky fingers around Loki’s shoulders.

“And I promise to care for you too.” He said with a genuine smile.

Loki’s jaw actually dropped. Was Thor serious? Did he really just brush off his friend in favor of siding with Loki, a complete stranger?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Thor get to know each other better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will take more time, but thank you for reading. :)

Later on Thor grabbed Loki. He hurled Loki over his shoulder and stepped out of the hall. Cheers followed them down the hall.

Someone had taken the time to warn Loki of this particular Aesir custom, so he was prepared to be dragged off. They were going to consummate their marriage.

Loki was the most scared of this part. He’d never taken any lovers. It had never seemed as interesting as his magic. In retrospect he was rethinking his decision, because he’d heard lots of stories about Thor and his endless stamina.

Thinking back, Loki had heard the stories and he’d laughed. Of course the Asgardian Prince could fuck like a horse, he had no brains to speak of and he needed to be good at something.

Loki had never thought that he would be the one on the receiving end of Thor’s sexual stamina. It had never crossed Loki’s mind.

They reached what must be Thor’s chambers. Thor opened the door with one hand and swept himself and Loki inside in one graceful motion. Loki continued to hold on and then the next thing he knew he was set down gently on the edge of a very large bed in a flurry of movement.

Loki got a good look around the room. It was quite cozy. Animal furs were everywhere, a fire was burning in the fire place and there was a plush looking couch and arm chair near it. There were no books, and Loki didn’t like that. He liked to keep several books in his room so that if he had any free time he could sit down and read.

He would have to make some room on Thor’s shelves for his books.

Loki stoked his chin, distracted by his wonderings. He wondered where his books were. He’d left them behind in Jotunheim. No doubt they were being destroyed or sold by now.

“Loki?” Thor murmured as he took off some of his ceremonial armor.

Loki looked up. “Yes?” He asked. This was their first real conversation. Before now they’d been surrounded by other people.

Thor smiled at Loki. “These are my chambers. But now they are yours too. Once I am crowned King we’ll move into larger royal chambers. But for now this is where we will be.” Thor said. “I hope these are okay with you.”

Loki smiled and scooted up to head of the bed to lounge against the pillows there. He tucked his arms up above his head and got comfortable. “Hmmm.” He hummed. “I suppose this will suffice. It is nothing like my frozen palace though.”

Thor smiled and the jostled Loki as he joined him on the bed. “Do you wish to remove some of your jewelry? You look beautiful in it, but it looks terribly uncomfortable.”

Loki grinned. “Oh yes. I’ve been waiting for this moment all day.”

Loki sat up and began removing each piece of jewelry. They gold chains from around his horns, the rubies and emeralds braided through his not very long hair, the bracelets, the anklets, and the necklaces. He left only his wedding ring and the arm band his Dam had given to him before he left.

There was a small bowl sitting in Thor’s wardrobe, and Loki guessed it was for his jewelry. So he left it all there. He also removed the white fabric that had been draped around his shoulders.

“So about tonight.” Thor said as Loki hesitantly got back into the bed. “I know that my reputation has preceded me, as it often does. But I want you to know that I have no plans to consummate this marriage until you are ready. You are a few centuries younger than me, and I wanted you to know that there is no pressure to do anything yet.”

Loki smiled and immediately relaxed. So he had time before he would bed Thor. Good, there was less of a chance to ruin things this way.

“I have heard many things about you, but I want to hear about you from you.” Thor said as he turned on his side and faced Loki completely. His arms opening and inviting Loki to come near.

Loki moved closer. Thor was like a fire, he was giving off so much heat. And all his muscles were so much bigger up close.

This whole married life situation would take a lot of getting used to. Before this wedding, Loki had been a bit of a wanderer. He’d traveled all over Jotunheim, and then all over several of the other realms. He’d seen things, met people and caused mischief all over.

He never thought that he would get married. Much less to a King. And now here he was. Lying in bed with his husband the soon to be King of Asgard.   

Loki would probably have significantly less freedom here in Asgard. Especially if he was to be Thor’s Queen. Or King Consort, as Loki had been calling himself.

“So you want to spend the night talking? Getting to know one another? How noble.” Loki said with a sneer.

Thor only chuckled as he reached up to twirl his fingers around some of Loki’s hair. “I know it is quite out of place considering my reputation. But you and I are married now and I don’t want to start this marriage wrong. We have the rest of our lives to spend knowing each other physically. I see no need to rush.” Thor said.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “So what did you want to know about me?” He asked. He had never been one to volunteer information about himself willingly. He would likely deflect the conversation back to Thor later so that he could learn more about the Thunderer.

Thor’s face softened and his entire body relaxed as one of his arms snaked around Loki’s waist. “Tell me about you. I want to know about your life. I want to know about Jotunheim.”

Loki frowned. That was so horribly vague. He looked over at Thor and saw the most content and patient look on the man’s face. He wanted to ask why Thor was looking at him like that but he guessed that this much be a nice change of pace for the Asgardian royal.

Thor probably spends his days dealing with diplomatic stuff that Loki can’t stand, or avoiding war or fighting things. It must be nice for him to just lay in bed and talk to a complete stranger that he’s now married to.

“I’m Loki Laufeyson. First born son of Laufey and the heir-apparent of Jotunheim no longer. I’m a runt, I do magic and I’m now married to a King.” Loki said. “That’s me.”

“There must be more about you than that.” Thor said. “Tell me more about Jotunheim. It has been so foreign to me for so long. Especially after the war our Grandfather’s fought.”

“I don’t know enough about Asgard to compare it to Jotunheim. But I can tell you that it is much more hospitable than Asgard.”

“What? It’s a frozen wasteland! How can it be more hospitable?” Thor asked curiously.

“It is a world of ice yes, but it is much more comfortable for me than here. If it wasn’t for my wedding ring I might have fainted from the heat by now.”

Thor’s fingers went to Loki’s and intertwined with them. Loki marveled at how much larger Thor’s fingers were. They dwarfed his delicate fingers and they ran over his wedding band.

Loki told Thor only a bit more about Jotunheim, and then managed to divert the conversation back to Asgard and Thor. Uncomfortable with telling Thor too much about himself.

They fell asleep next to each other several hours later, with Loki relaxed. Something he hadn’t been able to do in a long time.


	3. Wow look at my muscles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The holidays have ruined my sleep schedule.

A few days later Thor had pestered Loki nonstop about visiting the training grounds with him.

Loki and Thor had slid into a comfortable form of life. They spent the mornings and nights together. Talking about each other, and eating. Loki spent his days studying the duties of an Asgardian Queen. Not wanting to muck this up.

Loki hadn’t wanted to visit the training grounds of Asgard though. Because it displayed the true wonder and luxury of his new home. In Jotunheim, even Loki the crown Prince (for a time) had had to spend his days finding food and protecting both himself and his people. He hadn’t had the free time to train himself in the art of battle merely to pass time. Instead he had to spend all his time trying to survive.

Yet here, these Asgardians could spend all day hitting each other and living without enemies constantly trying to attack.

Loki supposed that he should be happy. After all, this was his new way of life. But yet he couldn’t let himself grow comfortable. Around Thor, around the new palace that would soon belong to him, and around his future subjects.

Loki had ruined too many things. And he knew that one wrong move would have Thor throwing Loki out of Asgard, out of their loveless marriage and would bring war on Jotunheim’s head.

So Loki was hiding. He was hiding away in Thor’s rooms where no one could get to him other than Thor, and where he couldn’t destroy anything. Where he could keep his chaos in check.

The Queen Mother Frigga had come by several times, exhorting Loki to join her for tea. And Loki had declined every time.

Thor always talked about his Mother with such affection. And Loki had no desire to mess with that at all.

Thor had just assumed that Loki was shy and nervous about being in Asgard, but after a week he finally broke his resolve and ordered Loki to join him at the training grounds.

“The sun will do you good. And you should meet others. Hiding away will solve nothing. I promise that if it gets to be too much I will bring you back here and we can eat sweets all afternoon.” Thor said as he gently held Loki’s hands.

Loki pursed his lips. Thor had found out about Loki’s sweet tooth after someone had brought Thor some sweet cakes one day and Loki had eaten them all while Thor had been sorting out some diplomatic problem.

Thor had only smiled at Loki when he saw the empty tray. “It appears you’ve ruined your dinner. Never fear, you’re so skinny that maybe the sweets will do you some good.” And then Thor had clambered into the bed and patted the spot next to him. Silently ordering Loki to join him.

Today though it appeared that Loki could not get out of this. “Fine.” He conceded. “I’ll go with you.”

Thor’s smile was bright enough to light up the room. He took Loki’s hand in his and led him out of the room.

Loki was only wearing the traditional garb of a Jotunn. Which was a black loin cloth and some fabric covering the tops of his thighs. His chest was bare and he hadn’t bothered with any jewelry today. He only wore his Dam’s armband and his wedding ring. His hair was also loose and fell to the top of his shoulders.

Loki allowed Thor to all but drag him through the halls of Asgard. It was still too dazzlingly magnificent. Hardly a home befitting one such as Loki.

He’d spent years traveling about. Hiding in holes and caves, growing up in a fortress of ice. Now he would spend however long Thor could stand to have him around in this strikingly beautiful place.

So he focused on absorbing everything for now. For there would surely be a time when he would be cold and alone and he would think fondly on the time that he lived a pampered life in a castle with a King for a husband.

Loki reached out to run his fingers gently over a golden wall as he and Thor walked past. His fingers skimmed over the cool surface, and on a whim he summoned a bit of frost to coat the surface. It glittered even more after that.

He turned his gaze back to Thor who had slowed down. He was looking at Loki with wonder in his eyes. “Is that your magic?” He asked.

Loki grinned at him. “Why yes it is.”

“It is beautiful. I’ve only heard about it in stories. The elemental magic of the Jotunn.”

Loki laughed. “I can do a lot more than summon ice.”

“You must show me some time.” Thor said. “We are married and I wish to know everything about you.” He didn’t let go of Loki’s hand, and only continued. It was like he wasn’t even afraid of the fact that Loki could summon ice. And that the fingers that summon ice were currently held in his own.

Once they arrived at the training ring Loki was met with the Asgardian sun and several new faces. His new subjects. Loki couldn’t help the little smile of glee he had at the thought.

Thor led him over to where a circle of people stood. Loki recognized a few from the feast and wedding, and Sif. So these must be Thor’s friends.

“Warriors Three and Sif, I want you to meet Loki the Prince of Jotunheim and my husband.” Thor said as he gestured to everyone. “Loki, I want you to meet my friends Sif, Fandral, Volstagg and Hogunn.”

“It’s a pleasure.” Loki said with a smirk.

“We were wondering when we would meet you.” Fandral said with a bright smile. “Thor has been keeping you in his room hidden, he must be treating you well.” He said the last part with a smirk and a twisting of his eyebrows.

“Loki is adjusting to life here. It is a lot to take in for a new comer.” Thor said with his hand gentle on Loki’s shoulder. “Even more when Loki must learn about this realm in preparation for ruling it with me.”

Loki’s eyes widened. Had Thor just blatantly stated that Loki would rule at his side as an equal? As another monarch, and not the silent spouse Loki had expected to be?

“Very true!” Hogunn said. “It’s going to require a lot of maturity. But I’m sure you’ll do fine. You’ll have Frigga for help and all of us.”

Loki was speechless. These people didn’t even know him yet they were all but bowing down and proclaiming allegiance. And what was this calling Loki a ‘friend’ business? Loki had but a few friends. And he had never acquired so many in such short time.

“Let us see how he fares in the ring.” Sif said with the slightest shove against Loki’s shoulder. “I wish to see what you learned of battle in Jotunheim.”

Loki laughed. “Very well Lady Sif. Although I must warn you, I have had no formal training. I only have my past experiences to help me.”

Sif only smiled wildly as she stepped into the ring with Loki. “That is fine. Now let me see what you can do and if you are more than just a spoiled consort to stand at Thor’s side.”

Loki wondered if Sif meant that as an insult. Because it sure didn’t come across as an insult. To him at least, calling him a ‘spoiled consort’ was nothing compared to calling him ‘useless’, ‘runt’, or ‘waste of time’. Before marrying Thor there had been times in his life when he had been without home or food. Being a spoiled consort really only demeaned his masculinity and ability to care for himself, and made him sound like more of a sexual object for Thor than a person.

But it also meant that Sif thought Thor cared enough for Loki to spoil him. Since Loki was so new to all of Asgard he could not determine definite spoiling from the richness of the realm. So he didn’t know if Sif was telling the truth.

Loki didn’t really know how to respond so he only smirked at her and said, “Well then, let us see which one of us is worth spoiling then.”

A minuscule frown appeared on Sif’s face.

Sparring with Sif was surprisingly fun. Without real weapons, and without a definite threat Loki found himself enjoying himself immensely.

Sif was much much stronger than him. But Loki was much much faster and more agile than Sif. He was able to dodge all her blows, even the one she aimed at his horns. It was truly an experience to see himself besting this Asgardian in battle.

He managed to knock her off her feet and he managed to shift his weight and pin her to the ground. Winning the match.

Sif looked up at Loki with a glare from where she lay. “You—you—“She said. “You bested me on your first try! What are you?”

“I am Loki Laufeyson!” Loki said proudly. “Thor’s ‘spoiled consort’ or whatever it is I am called here.”

“You shall be known as whatever you want to be known as.” Thor said as he got into the ring. Instantly he was at Loki’s side and wrapping his arms around Loki in an embrace. “That was magnificent.” He said into Loki’s ear. “Thank you for accompanying me here. It means a lot to see you getting along with my friends.”

“But I just beat Sif, surely Sif won’t like that.” Loki said.

Thor waved a hand in Sif’s direction. “She knows better than to hold a grudge. And besides, you have earned her respect! That is a hard-won thing!”

Instead of being mad at him for defeating Sif in mock battle, Thor was proud of him. How fortuitous for Loki.

“Now I want you to stop avoiding my Mother and have some tea with her.” Thor said.

Loki almost choked on the air he was breathing.


	4. Tea time.

The next day Loki found himself at a table with Thor and Thor’s mother Frigga. There was a tea set there, with several of the sweets that Loki liked. Thor must have told Frigga that Loki loved the sweets.

Loki held the glass tea cup in his hand. It was so delicate, he was wary of breaking it. What would Thor say if he broke his Mom’s precious china?

Loki dipped his pinky in the warm tea and allowed just a bit of frost to seep into the liquid to cool it immensely and make it good for Loki’s mouth and insides.

“So Thor tells me that you are quite talented in the ring.” Frigga was saying most likely in hopes of ending the awkward silence.

“Oh yes, he is very talented!” Thor said in a booming voice.

Loki couldn’t help the little shake in his hands when Thor spoke so loudly. In Jotunheim if anyone had spoken to him in such a voice it usually meant he was about to be punished for something he had done wrong.

But that was just how Thor speaks. Loki wasn’t in danger.

“Indeed.” Loki said. “I’ve been through many a scuffle so I was ready for the Asgardian training ring.”

Frigga only smiled at him. “Your Mother said something about that.” She said sweetly.

Loki frowned. “Did she?”

“Yes. She said that you were often in fights. She also threatened us that if you are hurt while you’re in our care then she’ll wage war on us.” Frigga said with her same smile firmly in place.

Loki paled (it was hard to tell when it happened because of his blue skin) “She was just jesting with you. She would never wage war on Asgard. Especially not for my sake.” Loki said quickly.

“I’m not so sure about that.” Thor said. “She was adamant that I care for you as your spouse, and I have no plans to ignore her wishes.”

Loki frowned down into his delicate tea cup. Thor had met his Mother apparently.

“So Loki, how are your first impressions of Asgard?” Frigga asked as she folded her hands underneath her face.

“It’s very pretty here.” Loki said. “It’s not what I’m used to for sure.” He picked up a sweet and held it up for them to see. “There is so _much_ here. So much food, so much wealth, so much life.”

Loki knew that he didn’t look like he belonged here. He was a blue frost giant. But he was also much thinner than everyone in this realm. He looked positively skeletal next to Sif. A little bit of guilt always crept up Loki’s spine when he compared himself to Sif.

Sif was all curves and healthy muscles and weight. While Loki was all angles and positively skinny. No doubt Thor had wanted someone curvaceous and with a bosom. And yet he had ended up with Loki. A tiny frost giant.

“It is a lot to take in. I had a similar reaction when I married Odin. Vanaheim is more like Asgard than Jotunheim is, but I can still relate to how you must be feeling.” Frigga said. “I was worried when I heard that you faced Sif in the ring, you’re so delicate. I was afraid she would hurt you.”

“I was too, but Sif promised not to hurt him. And he was perfectly capable of protecting himself.” Thor said.

So they had noticed how easily Loki could be hurt. They were more observant than Loki had thought.

Thor and Frigga were conversing with each other, and Loki ignored them in favor of looking out of the window in Frigga’s tea room.

A feeling of longing washed over Loki as he watched the birds flying free outside, and people milling about in Asgard.

He missed the easy freedom of his old life. He’d been able to transform himself into a bird before and fly away. While here he was watched at all times. He could hardly leave Thor’s rooms without an escort.

He’d often found himself staring out of windows during his life. He had never been truly content anywhere. In his Father’s icy palace he’d wanted to be anywhere else, somewhere he belonged and was loved and cherished.

Or he would look out of windows whenever he was safe from harm far away in foreign lands. He would look at all the people of the town he was in and wonder if they were anything like him. If they too felt like lost wraiths wondering aimlessly through life.

“Loki?” Thor asked.

Loki turned back and looked at Thor and Frigga with his eyes still distant. His Father had often yelled at him for daydreaming during conversations, but Loki often found it easier than just facing the situation. Faced with a choice between Laufey yelling at him and pretending to be somewhere else was never a hard choice.

“Yes Thor?” Loki asked his expression growing guarded.

Thor only smiled at him. “You seem tired. Do you wish to rest?” Thor asked.

Loki raised an eyebrow. Did he look tired? He didn’t know. He decided to lie.

“Yes. I am feeling a little tired.”

“Well then let’s get you back to the rooms.” Thor said as he stood and held an arm out for Loki. He wanted Loki to worm his arm through his so that they could hold hands and be close to one another.

It was the closest that Loki ever gets to Thor.  Once they were back in Thor’s rooms Loki curled up in one of the chairs with a book he’d taken from the library.

He thought that Thor had left, but after a few moments he felt Thor press his lips into the top of Loki’s head. His blond hair was brushing over Loki’s horns.

“Thank you for meeting my Mother. I know it must have made you nervous.” Thor murmured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Loki is going to sound really immature, but keep in mind how he is younger than Thor by quite a bit.


	5. picnic from hell.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor takes Loki on a picnic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning/Spoiler: A character has a panic attack. So if you don't like reading about panic attacks, you might want to skip this chapter.

Loki was pretty sure that he was doing okay in Asgard. He had managed to have tea with Thor’s mother and the Queen Frigga without a great disaster, and if only Loki could get over this onset of restlessness he might be able to stomach being in Asgard for a bit longer.

He was sitting on a window sill deep within the recesses of the Asgardian palace with a book when Thor came upon him a few days later.

“I found you!” Thor said with a chuckle.

“I was not aware that I was hiding.” Loki said with a raised eyebrow. “I was merely trying to find a place in which the beasts of this realm wouldn’t bother me while I read.”

Thor laughed again. “But how can I spoil you if I can’t find you easily?”

Loki pursed his lips and glared up at his radiant husband. “Easy. No spoiling me. I am perfectly content to spend my days sitting here and reading about this realm. Did you know that to farm properly you have to diversify your crop? It’s such a fickle thing, the state of soil in your realm.”

Thor’s face turned impossibly fond as he looked down at Loki. Even though Loki was sure that Thor would rather be discussing anything other than farming. Thor didn’t seem to mind.

“Tis our realm Loki. And after our coronation it will officially be ours.” Thor reminded gently. “But I sought you out for a reason, I wanted to eat lunch with you.”

Loki raised an eyebrow and turned back to his book. “We already eat breakfast and dinner together. Is that not enough?” While he spoke his crimson eyes were returning to the book in his lap.

But then he felt Thor’s great arms encircling him and picking him up bridal style book and all.

When Loki looked up at Thor he was met with Thor’s smiling face. He looked so very affectionate as he held Loki up.

“What is the meaning of this?” Loki asked with a glare directed in Thor’s direction.

“I am rescuing you, my fair blue consort. I fear you have spent entirely too much time within these castle walls. Come, let me bring you out in the sun.” Thor said as he swept down the corridor.

Loki quickly rearranged himself so that he could twine an arm around Thor’s shoulders and tried his best to hide his smile.

Thor carried Loki through the winding hallways and they passed several people, all knew not to mention how Thor was carrying his consort around like a woman.

Thor stopped by the kitchen and picked up a basket and before Loki could ask a question they were leaving.

“What’s in the basket? And what’s it for?” Loki asked as Thor continued to carry him.

“You’ll see.” Thor answered. 

Loki sighed but let Thor carry him out of the palace. “Why are we outside? I thought we were eating lunch.” Loki said like a petulant child.

“Haven’t you heard of a picnic?” Thor asked.

“No of course not. Some of us were busy with other things and didn’t have time to learn everything about Asgard’s culture before coming here.” Loki mumbled under his breath.

Thor still heard him. But he didn’t reprimand Loki or anything. Instead he just said, “They do this on Midgard too.”

They reached a relatively empty field and Thor set Loki down and then began spreading a blanket out.

Loki was confused. “What is all this for?” He asked.

“We’re going to sit on the blanket and eat. It’s supposed to be peaceful and relaxing.” Thor said as he sat down. He patted the place next to him. “Come and sit next to me. I’ll feed you some grapes.”

“I can feed myself!” Loki said as he crossed his arms and continued to stand.

Thor only chuckled and pulled a sweet cake out of the basket. “Well, if you insist on standing then I guess I can eat all of this myself.”

Loki’s eyes bulged. And in an instant he was sitting next to Thor and rifling through the basket. There were a bunch of cakes as well as some meat and fruit. The kitchen staff had really gone all out.

Thor was pulling a bottle of ale out and pouring it into glasses. He handed one to Loki.

Loki took the glass without looking up from the meat he was devouring. He had forgotten to eat breakfast today, and he was ravenous.

Loki was too busy focusing on all the food available and his excitement at finally living in a place where he doesn’t have to starve or watch others starve that he allowed his inherent seidr capabilities seep from his fingers. The ale in the glass froze instantly and the glass crumbled under Loki’s freezing touch.

The glass exploded in Loki’s hand, and there the skin was much more delicate than the rest of his body and it sliced into his pam and fingers.

And the frozen piece of ale slid out of Loki’s hand covered in his purple blood. The blood continued to drop off of Loki’s hand and stained the blanket they were sitting on.

Loki’s eye bulged out of his head and he dropped the food in his other hand and cradled the hand to his chest and tried to staunch the blood flow with pressure from his other hand.

“Loki are you-“Thor asked as he set his own glass down and reached out toward Loki.

“It’s okay!” Loki said in a panicky tone and he stood up and stepped off the blanket really fast. “I’ll replace the glass I promise, and I know some spells that might get the stains out of the blanket, I just need to stop bleeding first.”

Thor looked very concerned, or angry Loki couldn’t tell. He looked like he wanted to get up but decided against it.

Loki had collapsed on the grass a few lengths away, and he was trying to recall a healing spell but for the life of him he couldn’t. His heart rate had gone up significantly and his hands would not stop shaking. All of this was only fueling his freezing touch, and every blade of grass he brushed with a finger died instantly from the abnormal cold of Loki’s skin.

Thor would probably be mad that Loki had broken the glass, and stained the blanket and had been so rude to Thor earlier. Why did Loki have to ruin everything? Why had his Father sent him here? Hadn’t Laufey had a care for Loki’s safety? Or at least used a little discretion toward sending his chaos inducing son on this highly sensitive errand.

“Loki, everything is fine. You needn’t worry about anything other than your hand, you look hurt. Come back and let me help you.” Thor was saying in a soothing voice.

Loki ignored him. Thor didn’t appear to be getting up anytime soon and Loki was trying to calm down, and stop remembering how whenever he had broken things he had been severely punished. He hated it when people hit him, and everyone always hit him when he broke things or was careless about his abilities. His seidr had always been much stronger than the average frost giant.

“Don’t come near me.” Loki hissed between pants. He belatedly realized that he was crying, and for some reason his lungs were heaving and he was having trouble catching a breath. He also felt like he was going to throw up. “I’ll hurt you if you touch me, so stay over there. Don’t touch me or hurt me. I’ll fix this.”

Thor stood up and approached Loki against Loki’s orders, his blue eyes were wide as he took in Loki’s trembling form.

“Loki I would never hurt you, never on my life. Please trust me, let me look at your hand you’re bleeding a lot.” Thor said as he crouched next to Loki with his hands out as if to soothe Loki. Like he was talking to a wounded animal.

And Loki behaved in turn, he held the injured hand even closer to his chest and brought his other hand up in a defensive position and shifted his entire body into a form where he protect himself from Thor.

Thor’s eyes widened and he set his hand gently atop Loki’s arm. His hands were encased in leather gloves that he had gotten from somewhere.

“Shhhh Loki its fine. I would never hurt you, no one will ever hurt you again I promise.” Thor’s voice sounded funny, watery almost.

Loki looked up at him and sure enough Thor’s face was streaked with tears. Why Thor was crying, Loki had no idea.

But Thor shouldn’t be crying. That wasn’t right. Thor shouldn’t be crying. Yet another way Loki had failed.

“You’re crying.” Loki gasped. “I upset you.”

“No, you haven’t.” Thor said gently as he set a hand on Loki’s shoulder. “I am upset that someone hurt you.”

What? Thor wasn’t making sense. People don’t care about Loki. People get mad at Loki. People yell at Loki. People hurt Loki.

Loki’s heart was slowing down at this point, but he was still shaking and all of his muscles felt like he had been running away from a monster.

The first wave of Loki’s attack was passing, Loki would get a few moments to calm down before the adrenaline returned.

Once he could breathe easier he apologized to Thor. Because Thor was still crouching next to him looking very concerned.

“I’m sorry, I’m just very nervous and shaken up.” Loki explained. “Everything is fine. I’ll go clean up.” He stood up and left Thor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I was gone for a while, I had a lot of things happen to me. My Mom is sick if you guys didn't know, and she hasn't really been getting better. I'm also a full time college student with a part time job.  
> I also almost died in a car wreck recently. It's been an insane few weeks.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the lateness of this update... My life has been fairly chaotic for the last few months. But its calming down now, and you can expect the next update and the conclusion of this story soon.

Loki had hoped that Thor had put what happened the other day out of his mind. After all, Loki wasn’t lying when he said he was fine. He got those weird attacks whenever he was just overcome with worry. And marrying a foreign king and moving somewhere and representing your people was Loki’s definition of stressful.

Thor hadn’t mentioned what had happened the other day. But he had made sure to give Loki plenty of space, and Loki had noticed more and more sweets brought to their rooms. Maybe Thor actually was worried about him.

Loki didn’t have too long to ponder it though, because two nights later there was a giant banquet. Some envoys from the northern regions of Asgard were visiting and Odin wanted to throw them a party. Or some other nonsense.

Loki was invited of course, and loathe as he was to go and be around a bunch of drunken Asgardians, he did like the idea of eating his fill, letting Thor get drunk and sneaking away.

So Loki dressed up that night, and when Thor showed up to escort him to the banquet he seemed to stop and completely stare at Loki. Like he hadn’t seen a Frost Giant before.

“You look lovely.” Thor said.

Loki couldn’t suppress a light blush to his face. Thor thought that he was pretty.

“I would hope so. I’m your consort after all.”

Thor held his arm out to Loki. “You are lovely no matter what.” He said with such genuine kindness Loki felt his heart flip. It was almost like they had never been at the disastrous picnic together.

Loki again couldn’t help the flush that went through him. He all but preened in Thor’s presence. But he followed Thor through the halls, and once they were in the large feast hall Loki took a place at Thor’s side.

Asgardian feasts were a chaotic affair. Loki had learned on his wedding night. And now, several weeks later they were still very much so a chaotic affair.

Loki was content to stay silent at Thor’s side and tear into some bread. While eating some other meat. After a time Thor got up and after murmuring that he was off to see some old friends, Thor left.

Loki was left mostly alone to watch the progressively drunken Asgardians stumble around and revel. How odd. He hadn’t gotten a good look on his wedding feast, but now it was positively entertaining.

He sipped at the wine in front of him and ate some sweets a servant had brought him. Until someone sat down in the seat opposite from him.

It was a girl. And she was very beautiful. She had the deepest brown hair Loki had ever seen, and her eyes were blue and deep.

“Hello.” She said as she smiled a devastating smile at Loki. No one other than Thor had really given Loki the scrutiny he was receiving now.

Loki felt himself flush. This was one of the few girls he had interacted with. On Jotunheim, there was little need to distinguish genders, and the Asgardian concepts were a bit odd to wrap his head around.

“Hello.” Loki said. He extended his hand out in greeting. “Loki Laufeyson of Jotunheim.”

The woman took Loki’s hand and pressed her lips to his knuckles. “I am Sigyn, and it is a pleasure to meet you.” She said after she had kissed his knuckles.

“That is not necessary.” Loki said with a flush to his face.

Sigyn looked up at him. “I have never seen a Jotun before.” She said. “I heard that if I touched your hands then I would be frozen alive. However I still stand.”

“You are sitting.” Loki said with a smirk. “And I like you enough not to freeze you.”

Sigyn smiled. “I also think that you are very beautiful.” She said.

Loki blushed even more, but he felt himself sit up straighter. He had never been complimented so much before. It felt nice to hear that these Asgardians thought that he was beautiful.

“I am strange looking. In a strange land.” Loki admitted.

“I would say that you are even more beautiful than your husband.” Sigyn said. She reached across the table and took Loki’s hand in hers, stroking his fingers and the ancestral lines upon his skin.

It felt nice. And it was nice to see someone so unafraid of his hands. Her delicate but still worn fingers threaded through his.

Loki couldn’t help the smile he gave her. “I think that you are a very beautiful woman.” He said. “But I do not think my husband would enjoy you claiming I am more beautiful than him. I am a guest in this realm, and I wish not to disrupt anything. Asgard is his, and Jotunheim is mine.”

“Oh my lord.” Sigyn said with a smile. “Asgard became yours the second you married Thor. And I only speak the truth, he cannot be blind enough to deny your beauty.”

Loki felt a warmth settle in his stomach. Someone other than Thor liked him.

“I am often in the libraries at the same time as you.” Sigyn said. “I see what you study, and I wanted to ask you to teach me some of your seidr work.”

Loki turned his head to regard her. “You would learn seidr?”

“Aye.” She said.

Loki smiled. “Then tomorrow shall be your first lesson.”

Sigyn smiled back and brought Loki’s hand up to her lips, kissing his very finger tips. Her warm breath ghosted over his cold fingers causing shivers to run up and down his spine.

Suddenly a large hand was between them, separating their hands and pulling them apart. “How can my consort be of assistance to you, Sigyn?” Thor asked in a very sober tone.

Sigyn only grinned up at Thor. “It is of no matter.” She said. “We have already spoken of what we need to.” She stood up to brush her dress off. “Although, I think it is growing late. Loki, you should retire soon. Before all the drunks are loose.”

“I was about to retire.” Loki said to her.

She smiled at him and waved, before making her way into the crowd.

Thor did not look happy. In fact he looked positively angry and miserable. It was really darkening the atmosphere of the feast.

“What is the matter Thor?” Loki asked as he set a hand on Thor’s arm. It was a rare occurrence for Loki to touch Thor so casually.

“Nothing. I just do not like how easily she touches you.” Thor said as he intertwined his fingers with Loki’s.

“I like it.” Loki whispered. “No one touches me like that here. They are scared.”

“They should be. You are my consort. Not theirs.” Thor said.

Loki was confused. And it was only when they were back in their bed with Thor fast asleep with an arm around him that Loki realized something.

Thor had been jealous.


	7. Chapter 7

Loki had no idea how to feel or act about a jealous Thor. The next day Thor woke at his usual time and left to get this Kingly duties. Leaving Loki in their bed.

Loki sat up and looked around the room. It was strange to think that over the last few weeks he had been through so much emotional turmoil, yet the room did not show any sign. Everything was as he had first found it. He had been too scared to move any of Thor’s things.

But Thor had said that he could do anything. After all this place was supposed to be his home now.

Loki made some room on one of the shelves near his side of the bed and put some books he was reading there. They sat peacefully beside Thor’s axe.

Loki had had no idea that marriage would be anything like this. He thought that he would suffer and that he would be afraid. But he wasn’t. Why didn’t Thor treat him the way everyone had in Jotunheim? Wasn’t Thor upset to have a foreign runt thrust upon him in the permanence of marriage?

Although from what Loki knew with the Aesir lived longer than the Jotun did. A Jotunn’s lifespan was shorter than that of an Aesir so maybe Thor liked that and looked forward to outliving his mate.

But that couldn’t be right. Thor was older than him so their lifespans would be fairly equal.

So Loki still had troubles reading his husband. But Thor had clearly been jealous of Sigyn. Which was strange.

Thor had no reason to be jealous. Loki was married to him, and while they were not totally mated Loki already knew that he wanted Thor to be his mate. And once he mated Thor the chances that Thor would cast him aside were significantly lower. And Thor was more attractive to Loki than Sigyn. Because Thor had been so kind to him and had trusted him Loki couldn’t imagine taking another into his bed.

He respected Thor too much to do that. And he hoped that Thor did the same. Yet Loki couldn’t deny that he felt a little happy that Thor had been jealous. It meant that Loki mattered to Thor, and that he saw Loki in a romantic light.

Loki had never loved before, he’d never thought that it would be for him. Who could love him, the smallest son of Laufey? A master of seidr and word play? An incessant wanderer?

Loki looked down at the ring on his finger. Oh how fate must laugh at him now. All he’d ever wanted was love and happiness. And it had been handed to him on a golden Asgardian platter with the direst consequences if he made a mistake.

He ate a meal and then headed into the library.

As they had agreed, Sigyn met him there at his usual time. She looked happy as she sat at a table with Loki.

“Your Majesty.” She said.

“Sigyn.” Loki said in greeting.

“You look lovely today. But I’m sure that you know already.” Sigyn said with a flourish.

How masculine she was! Loki liked her. The other Asgardians didn’t know how to treat him, since he was a man but would be responsible for mothering Thor’s children and with their assigned genders they had little understanding of how to address Loki.

But Sigyn just went out and talked and treated him in a womanly manner. Loki liked her courage.

“I do. I am like a rare blue gem in a realm of gold.” Loki said.

“Indeed. And with ruby eyes you really are exquisite.” Sigyn said.

“What is your aim with all this flattery?” Loki asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Only the favor of the future Queen of Asgard.” Sigyn said. “With your patronage I’ll surely be able to attend seidr schooling.”

“Asgard has that?”

“Of course. But only for women with a lot of wealth and power.”

So Sigyn wanted him to help her learn about seidr. At least she was honest and open about what she wanted.

“I see.” Loki said as he folded his hands together. “Unfortunately, I have neither in this realm.”

Sigyn’s mouth fell open. “Are you really going to lie to my face? You _can_ just say no! You don’t _have_ to sponsor me if you don’t want to.”

“No. I would sponsor you in a heartbeat if I could. I would love for more people to know seidr.” Loki said. “But I can’t afford for to pay for you.”

“You do know that once Thor is crowned you’ll have access to the treasury of Asgard.” Sigyn said.

Loki’s brow furrowed. “No I won’t. And I can’t imagine them ever giving me access to it.”

Sigyn raised an eyebrow. “The Queen of Asgard is usually just as powerful as the King. You might not have access to all of it but I can’t imagine Thor denying you any part of it.”

Loki leaned forward and whispered. “You are an optimist. I am a foreigner from your most hated realm, I’m not physically strong, and I haven’t been married to Thor for long. Thor would be a fool to give me access to any sort of power. Plus I’m quite a bit younger than him.”

“Trust me. Thor is an idealist and a romantic. He will want you to rule by his side and as an equal. It is pretty obvious that he loves you too much to deny you anything.” Sigyn said.

“What?” Loki said, actually confused. “Are you delusional?”

“It’s been a little sickening to see our fiercest warrior follow you around for these past months, spoiling you rotten and treating you like you’re the greatest thing since weaponry. I haven’t ever seen him this happy.” Sigyn said. “But I’ve been watching you, and I like you. You’re smarter than me and you’re not going to do anything drastic to Asgard.”

“Thor doesn’t spoil me.” Loki said.

“ _Please._ Thor lets you sleep in for hours every morning. He has the kitchen prepare sweets for your breakfast every morning. He gave you that ring which has a large part of power from the Casket. He gave you a fortunes worth of jewelry, He won’t let his friends say much of anything negative about you to him.” Sigyn smiled. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, I just know that you don’t have any friends here to tell you this and I thought I could fill the void. I’ve known Thor for years and I have never seen him the way he is now. You’ve made him happy.”

“I don’t see how this is going to help me.” Loki said. “What do you get out of all of this?”

“I’m invested in how well you rule this country. I’m going to be your subject soon, and I just want to help you and Thor out. I can tell you are nervous, and it’s understandable. But in case you were nervous about your position here at court I wanted to soothe your worries. Thor loves you and because of that everyone else does too.” Sigyn said. “I also thought that you might be lonely.”

Loki stared at her. “I have never met anyone like you.” He stated. “But I’m not sure that Thor would want us to be friends, he didn’t seem too fond of you last night.”

Sigyn shrugged. “We won’t be doing anything adulterous. And I’m sure that you would like to have an intelligent friend instead of his blockheaded warrior three.” Sigyn smiled at him, it made a warm feeling flow through Loki’s gut. “And I can’t believe I left out his jealousy last night! Only someone as besotted as him would feel threatened by me. Can’t he see that you don’t want anyone else? Because it’s obvious.”

“Jotunns do not typically have affairs. If they find a mate to be unsatisfactory or the relationship ceases to be beneficial to both parties they end it and move on. Jotunns do not have need of jealousy in a typical sense. And since Thor is my mate I don’t see the point in having anyone else in my bed.” Loki said.

“Jotunns are a boring bunch. But unsurprisingly, they seem to have healthier relationships than us.” Sigyn said to herself. “For centuries our historians have talked about how you lot rut like beasts and eat your own children. I always knew they were wrong.”

Loki liked this Sigyn. She was brutally honest, almost to a fault. But she was also good, and he could tell she was telling the truth. She only wanted him to help her get into seidr schooling. She didn’t want to have a filthy affair with him and she didn’t want anything large or extravagant from him. And she trusted him even though her people used to be an enemy to Jotunns.

Loki gestured to her to sit closer to him which she did.

“Listen.” He said very quietly. “I really want to help you. And I like you, I feel like in another world we are meant for each other. But in this one I am in a tremulous position. I have to be the greatest consort to Thor in order to help my people. If Thor is dissatisfied with me then I will be cast out and my Father will kill me. Jotunheim is more important as is my life. But in the future if I can help you I will. As for now I am still solidifying my place in this realm and I wish you would allow me to do this without offending Thor. Please. I have failed many things in my life and I cannot afford to fail this.”

Sigyn looked at Loki with such a mixture of emotions on her face. Sadness. Confusion. Pity. Fear. “Loki, Thor would _never_ cast you out. How can you even _think_ that we would treat you with such cruelty! You are Thor’s husband, not a whore that he will grow bored of! Even if he gets tired of you, which is unlikely, he would never just send you _back_ to Jotunheim!” Sigyn said in a heated tone. “I would never let him! Norns, Queen Frigga would never! And as for the Casket, as long as it isn’t used to attack another realm it’s staying in Jotunheim. Odin has no use for it, and Thor has Mjolnir now, and soon he will have Gungnir. There is little need for a Jotunn relic.”

“But still, I cannot afford to fail.”

Sigyn rested a hand atop Loki’s arm. “This is love Loki. Not something you need to succeed in, there is no winning or losing. Arranged Marriages and relationships are hard enough without this pressure you’ve put on yourself.” Sigyn squeezed his arm just slightly. “There’s no need to be afraid.”

Loki looked down at her small hand. And thought about her words. “But how could Thor love me? He barely knows me.”

Sigyn smiled. “Well, he picked you over the other heiresses.”

Loki’s jaw dropped. “You mean this wasn’t arranged? Thor picked _me_ over a bunch of women? Why didn’t anyone tell me! Why would he do that? _How permanent is this?_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted Loki to have a real friend. :)


	8. Real relationships

Loki was sitting in a chair in front of Thor’s fireplace. Sigyn’s revelation was causing his gut to swirl. Thor hadn’t been forced to marry him. He had chosen Loki. And apparently from a large number of eligible women.

He had the crown Thor had given him in his hand. Loki hadn’t taken the time to really look at the thing before now, he had been far too busy. But now he was examining just how exquisite it was. It was all gold, with rubies and emeralds inlaid in it and it had two parts that swirled upward from the base to cling to his horns. It had been specially made for him and no other could wear it.

No other could rule beside Thor.

But Loki could not help wondering why. Why would Thor choose Laufey’s runt son as a consort, why a magic user who was not entirely a woman when he had his choice of countless beautiful women.

It made no sense.

Loki set the crown down and looked at their bed. It was such a safe place. So many memories of him and Thor had been made in it. Thor had not forced himself on Loki. Even though he could have. He could do anything he wanted to Loki.

Loki sighed. He would simply wait for Thor. He had a lot to ask him. In the meantime he opened a book he was reading and spent the afternoon calmly.

Thor showed up some time later. The room was bathed in the golden sunset light of the realm. And Thor looked freshly washed. He had probably recently left the training ring.

“Greetings Loki.” Thor said as he took a seat near Loki. “How has your day been?”

Loki looked up at Thor blankly. “Enlightening.” He answered. “I have spent the morning with Sigyn in the library.”

Thor’s face darkened and he glared at the jug of water on the table. “What did she have to say?”

“She told me a lot of things. She wants to go to seidr school. I’m going to be quite rich some time in the future apparently. And you chose me to be your spouse.”

Thor’s head turned sharply at that last statement. His mouth opened like he had something to say, but he just closed it and let Loki continue talking.

“It was disconcerting to hear. Considering that _I_ had no choice in the matter. I have been angsting over this for months, worried that I would shame Jotunheim, or you would toss me aside. And that you were just as stuck with me as I was with you. But no! You chose me! You could have had someone else fill this void and you chose _me!”_

“Loki I had no idea—“

“I’m not finished!” Loki said sharply. “I never wanted to be tied down to any throne! All I wanted was a mate who would be an equal to me and would love me and let me practice my seidr. But instead I ended up whored out to the King of Asgard! I’ll never find an equal here where everyone hates me because of my nature which is something I’ll never have control of!”

Thor stood up and Loki was instantly holding up his arms in a defensive position again.

“Stop.” Thor said. And then Loki felt his large hands on his arms. “I beg of thee. Let me explain.”

“Explain what? That you could have had anyone, a _woman!_ And yet you chose a Frost Giant to sit with you on the throne of Asgard!” Loki sobbed.

Thor kneeled in front of Loki and reached a gentle hand up to wipe some of Loki’s tears away. Loki let him.

“I chose you. It’s true. I wanted you more than the others. But please know some things.” Thor said earnestly. “I never meant to rob you of love and companionship. I thought that I could provide you with what you needed.”

“Why?” Loki asked.

“I’ll explain.” Thor said as he stood and lifted Loki into his arms. Loki let him again, sagging into Thor’s embrace.

Thor sat on the chair and held Loki close, like he was going to break at any second. And Loki felt him press a gentle kiss into the top of his head.

“I got to see all those eligible to wed me.” Thor said after a time had passed. “Heimdall allowed me to glance upon them all for a few short moments.”

Loki remained silent and let Thor continue.

“I saw a lot of beautiful princesses and heiresses. All in their Father’s golden castles, safe and loved.” Thor said. “They were all lovely creatures. All of them were happy and fertile.”

“And then I saw you. And I couldn’t look away.” Thor said. “You were in some sort of cave. Not a castle or even a fortress. And you were crying. And I wanted to take you away from whatever was making you cry. I wanted you to smile. And then another Frost Giant appeared and you hid your tears away and smiled for them. You hid your pains away so your follower wouldn’t be scared. That’s the sign of a real leader. None of the other ones did that. And I knew it had to be you.”

Loki was silent. Thor had chosen him because he’d been crying? Did Thor think him nothing more than a simple damsel in need of rescue? What was that nonsense about hiding his pains? What did that have to do with ruling Asgard?

“I chose you. It’s true. But I hoped that you would be happy here. But it seems that you aren’t. And I failed.”

Loki got out of the comfortable place he’d been in on Thor’s lap. He paced the room. Thor watched him with large sorrowful eyes.

“I don’t get it.” Loki said. “You saw me visibly upset. You saw me crying and then bottling up my feelings. How is that going to be beneficial to Asgard?”

“I admit, I was hoping that you wouldn’t bottle your feelings around me. I wanted you to know that I’ve been yours right from the start, and I wanted our marriage to be special and I want to love you so very much.” Thor said. “You are young though. I didn’t want to force you into anything.”

Loki dropped his head into his hands and cried more tears. “I’ve been so afraid of doing something wrong! This is so important to Jotunheim! I resent you so for putting me in this position.” Loki cried.

“I am sorry. I know it was like a trade, the Casket for you. But I hope that you know that I would never take the Casket back.” Thor said. “As for your fears, I don’t get them. What are you afraid of doing wrong? Marriages are not perfect. And even if you do make a mistake, what did you think I would do?”

“You’ll send me away! You’ll divorce me and get someone better! Some woman who has only the necessary parts to make your heirs! Not some Jotunn runt Prince.” Loki yelled.

Thor’s face fell. “Is that what you think of me? Do you think I made those vows to you on our wedding day in vain? I promised to protect you forever Loki!” Thor yelled back. “And I _know_ you’re intersexed! And it is fine! If I didn’t like it I would have chosen someone else. It was never my intention to make you feel like some sort of vessel. You’re my husband.”

Loki sighed and looked away. “Before I married you I had more freedom than you could ever know.” He said. “I could wander Jotunheim and all the other realms. Except for Muspelheim, I can’t go there and even a dullard would know why.” Loki sniffed. “I miss it. Now that I’m married to you I have to stay in this castle and pretend learn how to be a ruler to it. I was never going to inherit Laufey’s throne, what made you think I wanted any part of yours?”

“I didn’t like it! I didn’t like how you were so easily tossed out of the line of succession once your brother was born. Just because you’re a runt. And I thought that you were a good choice to rule alongside me. You are smart, talented in seidr and I thought to make you my Queen.”

“How am _I_ supposed to respond to that?” Loki roared. “Am I supposed to be pleased that you made all these decisions without me? Is that how the rest of this marriage will be? Me following your every order? Because I would sooner die.”

“Don’t say that.” Thor’s tone sounded broken and defeated. “I am so sorry for all the wrongs I have done to you. I didn’t choose you to make you my slave. I chose you to be my equal. And as for divorce, that is not going to happen. It was binding. There is no way out of it. But maybe if you let me, I can be your equal, and love you and help you with seidr. And maybe you can be my Queen, someone to help me and bear the burden of the throne with me and love me.”

Loki stared at Thor.

“So that’s it? I’m just supposed to accept that this is my prison now? And you’re my jailer?”

“Stop twisting my words!” Thor begged. “This castle is not a prison! It is your home! I want you to feel safe here! But if you are so set on leaving, we can do that too. I have sanctuaries across this realm and others I can take you too. You can’t leave by yourself because it is too dangerous. But I can take you anywhere you want to go, you just have to ask. I would never imprison you!”

Loki guessed that that had been an unfair thing to say. He sank to his knees and sat on the carpet.

“I ruin everything I touch Thor.” Loki whispered. “I have botched _so many spells_ and I have ruined so many things and hurt those that I love. There is no way this marriage is going to be any different.”

Thor sat on the ground next to Loki. “It matters not if you make a mistake. If it is an accident, or even if you show remorse I will forgive you. There is no way this will work otherwise. I would never hurt you, and I would ask the same of you. I will never raise a hand against you, I would ask that you try not to hurt me with your tongue. It can be a cruel thing. But when I deserve a tongue lashing, please give it to me. No one else will.”

“What about when I deserve a beating? Who would take that responsibility?” Loki asked quietly.

“No one. You will never be hurt here. I promised you that, and I intend to keep that promise.” Thor said. “Were you hurt in Jotunheim?”

Loki shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.” He said.

“Yes it does. If someone hurt you I want to know. It’s not right!”

“As if you Aesir are any better.” Loki said.

“I am. I would never hurt you. And I want you to know that. I’m not going to send you away ever.”


	9. Realizations and Epiphanies

Loki decided to take Thor’s advice. And to believe Thor’s words.

Thor wouldn’t send him away. Or hurt him. Or deny him his seidr. And Thor also hadn’t denied that Loki would have access to the Asgardian treasury. So maybe Loki really would be his equal.

Loki began opening up and showing his emotions a little more around the servants and Sigyn. He let them know when he was displeased with the way they acted. And more importantly, he showed them when he was pleased with them.

Loki knew they were happy when the servants began bringing him sweets in the mornings without Thor telling them to. They knew that it made Loki happy, and when he was happy they were less likely to end up with accidental frost bite.

That was another thing, Loki’s seidr changed.

It stopped spiking uncontrollably with his emotions, and the spells he attempted in secret stopped exploding in his face. He had no idea how that was happening, except that maybe when he didn’t have a fear in the back of his heart his magic performed better.

Then came the day Loki got a little too adventurous.

He stepped out on the balcony outside their room and whispered a spell he hadn’t tried in years. It was a transformation spell to turn him into a bird and let him fly away.

Thor was busy with foreign dignitaries all morning, so he wouldn’t notice if Loki took a little flight around Asgard.

Loki hadn’t left the palace except to go to the gardens since he had arrived, so he decided to take a little flying tour of the realm Eternal.

Asgard was not found wanting. As Loki soared above the fields of seemingly endless grain and the wonderfully thick forests his heart swelled. This realm would be his. His to share with Thor.

He would rule this realm one day.

He flew over peasant houses, and noble manors and a sea so large it seemed to never end. His blood sang with the freedom of flight, and his eyes were quick to feast on everything that was Asgard.

He landed on a beach very far away from his golden castle and transformed back into himself. He sat on the deserted beach and looked out at water that had probably never been part of a glacier.

The sand crunched under his feet as he walked around and threw rocks into the water. He liked the air here, he would have to return when Thor’s castle grew too stifling.

He might be smaller than a normal Frost Giant. But he was still one at heart and staying in one place made him feel too bored. Too domestic. Too sedentary.

Frost Giants typically wander in their youths until they find a mate and then they find only a few places to live. Loki had stupidly thought that one day he would have that. But he supposed being married to a King was not so bad. Especially when he wasn’t in any danger and was being fed.

Thor could be cruel and horrible. But he wasn’t. He may be arrogant and conceited at times, but his love so far had been true.

Loki guessed that if he had to mate with any Asgardians it might as well be their mightiest warrior. And the one who would love him and their children unconditionally.

Loki decided that he might as well practice his elemental seidr when no one was around to hurt. He froze a bit of the water and sat on it. It began to float away from the shoreline and out into the blue water.

He just sat peacefully. He could see fish swimming underneath, perplexed by the presence of ice in their normally small sea. Loki would change his form into a fish and join them next time.

The ice held together very nicely and he only had to add a bit more seidr into it to keep it from splitting apart. It wasn’t like if he fell in he would drown, he could swim perfectly.

Out here Loki wasn’t someone’s husband. He was just a traveler from another realm come to visit. None of the animals thought him any different than anything else. Nature had a place for him that Thor’s world was still trying to find.

He almost didn’t want to go back. But then he thought of Thor’s tears and how they had hurt in a way that Loki hadn’t felt in years. Loki didn’t want to make Thor cry.

He didn’t know if he would be good enough to rule this realm.

But as he dipped his fingers into the water and let some tiny fish nibble on them he thought that it was worth a try. He thought of his golden haired husband and thought that he could see a future with him. And that he was done being afraid like a child. It was time to address his fears and move forward.

There was a goodness in Asgard that Loki wanted to protect. And maybe for once he could do something that wouldn’t blow up in his face.

A few hours later had Loki landing back on his and Thor’s shared balcony. He smelt of bird and fish and freedom. His hair still had foam from his time in the sea and his face still had a smile that flying had afforded him.

He froze when he stepped into the room and found Thor sitting there. Waiting for him it seemed.

Loki’s heart pounded threateningly in his chest.

But instead of panicking, he took a deep breath and remembered that Thor wasn’t going to hurt him. Thor wanted to protect him.

So Loki strode into the room with a confidence he hoped he would someday feel and he sat next to Thor on the couch.

Thor looked up at Loki expectantly.

“I have been to see your realm.” Loki said as he relaxed onto the cushions. His heart was still beating fast, but he wasn’t afraid. “It is beautiful.”

Thor nodded. “I thought as much. I was concerned to find you gone when I returned. I forget that you have eyes that have never seen the true wealth of Asgard.” He said. “I am fine with it. I just wish you would tell me before you leave. It would not do for you to be hurt while you are out venturing.”

Loki smiled. “I will. And maybe next time you can go with me.”

Thor’s face showed real shock as he looked at Loki. He hadn’t thought he would ever be invited on Loki’s solo wanderings.

“I have thought on what you said to me a few weeks ago.” Loki said as he reached out and intertwined his fingers with Thor’s. “And I want to do it. I want to be your mate and your co-ruler. And I want to give this marriage a real chance. I am sorry I acted like a child for so long, but I have thought on the situation. And I want to be the ruler of this realm at your side.”

Thor looked happy. “Thank you so much Loki, for giving this a chance.”

Loki didn’t let him say more before he kissed him.

And Thor kissed him back and Loki knew for the first time that everything was going to be okay.


End file.
